Auto Rickshaw Diaries

(All characters in this dramatised event are fictional. Any resemblance to someone living, sleeping or dead is purely intentional)


11th December, 9:30 AM, KR Puram, Bengalooru


Decent Boy, also D.B (Materialistic,Capitalistic, Arrogant, Jerko) : Auto, ITPL chalega?!!

Auto Rickshaw's Suave Enterprising Hero, Owner and Laziness Exemplified (Mass hero, Idealist, Communist, Hard worker, #15532 certified Rajnikanth Clone): Oh, yes saar! Come and sit, fast vahicle, ride enjoy maadi, guaranteed!!

D.B (Dumb B******): Oh, gr8 yaar! (sits in the auto) chalo yaar chalo...meter lagaoo

A.R.S.E.H.O.L.E: Saar! Where you want go?? Traffic to ITPL baad....

D.B (Dingbat): I know yaar, I know...pls go a little fast

ARSEHOLE (With a pleading expression): Saar, it costing double...no return saar....gas rates gone up, traffic gone up, me getting screwed....life bad....three kids....no profit...where to go, Saar?!! You tell me.. Police loot me daily....

(At this point, Dumb Bell (D.B) ponders over the auto drivers predicament. "Shame!! misery everywhere" he thinks to himself.I can make life better for everyone on earth, he thinks. But he finds the price a bit steep....hmmmmmmmm)

D.B (Dumb Bargainer): Yaar, it's too much, tell me another figure...i cant pay double
yaar..pls be reasonable

ARSEHOLE: SAAR!!! WHAT SAAR!! SAAR! ........wokay, give me 150 rupees. It cover gas. I have to live too SAAR!! SAAR!!

DB (Daily Buggered): Wokay yaar! Ill pay you 150. This place looks very far by the way. Snore!!! Snore!! (DB sleeps off)

(Two minutes later...................)

ARSEHOLE: Saar!!! We there SAAR!!

D.B (Dozing Bumbler): Huh?!! What?!! Where? Already?!!!!

ARSEHOLE (Impatient): Saar! Pay up fast....go back soon

D.B (Dazed 'n' Befuddled): Huh?! Wait a minute!! You told me that this place was far..

ARSEHOLE (2 pitches higher): SAAR! PAY UP FAST!!

D.B (Doleful Bugger): NO WAY! This wont be more than 20 bucks. Ill give you 30 at max

ARSEHOLE (In a low dangerous voice): SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRR .....(the longest drawl ever heard)

D.B (Dirty Business): Listen boss, no way im going to cough up. You didnt use the meter..Its a criminal offense. Im not gonna pay that much. It's extortion. This is too much...

(At this point the local auto gang starts gathering around the two...)

D.B: (Dirtier business): .......................Ill call the police. You wont get away with
this.....You! You!

(At this point ARSEHOLE starts rolling up his sleeves. His hairy biceps bulging, fold his
hands resting them on his paunch, The circle tightening over DB)

ARSEHOLE: 150 rupees....

D.B (Dumb Bell) (Gulping): Heh! Heh! Sure, why not yaar ?!! Let's not be hasty....he
he....what yaar...these things happen between friends, hey na!! (giving ARSEHOLE a
nudge)...HEH HEH....(coughs up the moolah)

Saying so....walks away....ARSEHOLE, with a satisfied smile drives away....

D.B (Delirious Banshee): HE HE HE HE HE HE HE ........BOO HOO...!!BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!


THE END….FOR NOW